guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
