Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
bring money and cleavage
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
