6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
