She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
