Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
