3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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