I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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