There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
