high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
ok first of all what the fuck
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
