Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
