yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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