Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you didnt know i had herpes?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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