their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
