how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize