It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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