I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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