It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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