Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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