No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
