I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
