Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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