the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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