So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
