every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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