So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
