Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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