ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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