if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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