you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
