Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
