I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
