I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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