Non-Jews are for practice
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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