It's Friday. Sex?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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