If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I smell stomach acid.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
