Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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