I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
