And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize