No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
everyone is single if you try hard enough
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
