Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
