so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
