It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
