I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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