I think im going to throw up on grandma
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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