she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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