I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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