Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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