Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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