i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
