I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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