I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
