I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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