i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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