Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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