She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
