there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize