It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
