dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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