no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
