Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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