we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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