look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
